Cutting Ties With A Toxic Person

Do you ever feel that you would live a happier and more joyful life if a specific person were not a part of it?

Never is it simple to make the decision to remove somebody from your life. Also, it’s particularly difficult to acknowledge that a family member can also be toxic and a big cause of your emotional and mental pain. So much that you need to make a decision that you just can not keep on having a relationship with them.

For every one of you who are trying to decide if you should discontinue a relationship with a toxic person including a family member, this is for you. It feels that over and over again, you are hurt by this individual. You have attempted vigorously to fix the relationship, but always end up feeling baffled and frustrated that nothing ever changes.

So when is it appropriate and when is it time to end a relationship with someone toxic?

As difficult as this is, there is no one answer. There are many toxic traits and and the severity of them. Toxic individuals can add stress, anxiety and anger to your life by repetitively using bahaviours listed below.

Accusing

Controlling

Lying

Blowing up often

Discrediting or disregarding your emotions

Undermining your relationship with your companion, kids, or different family members

Manipulation

Belittling you, your dreams or beliefs

Gaslighting (an incredible type of control that makes you question your impression of what’s happening)

Declining to settle or talk about issues

Gossiping about you behind your back

Shouting, reviling, calling you names or making fun

They are always right and you are always wrong

Setting outlandish expectations

Feeling that you should always support them, however they aren’t there to support you when needed

Undermining self destruction or self-hurt so as to get their direction

Destroying occasions and events

Playing the victim always

Never apologising and if they do, it comes off as fake and shallow

Lacking concern or joy for you, your life and your accomplishments

Make people think that it’s ‘You’ and never taking responsibility

While it’s true that many individuals can change, yet it is also true that toxic individuals rarely do. They never like the outer world to think that they did anything wrong and that will never change. Rather, they just continue to find it easier to blame you.

Here are some reasons why we continuously battle to cut binds with someone toxic.

1. We love them

We love this person and look past their abusive behaviour, even trying to excuse it is ways. We don’t want to ‘not’ have them in our lives. Even if we cut ties, it doesn’t mean we ever stop loving them.

2. Family expectations

We grew up believing that family should always be there for each other, to take care of each other over all and above everything else. If the toxic person in your life is a family member, you may feel a lot of guilt. You’ve always heard that families stick together and should be there for one another. But realise that these expectations are only fair if the relationship is healthy and not continuously toxic, hurtful and harmful to you. Don’t feel selfish for doing what is best for you.

3. We fear life without them. We fear change

Fear tends to keep many of us in toxic relationships for too long. To cut ties with someone that has been in your life for a long time can be very sad and scary regardless of the relationship having always been toxic. It seems that sometimes we find it easier to stay with the familiarity of something hurtful than to let it go, even if it is toxic to our lives. This is where you need to give yourself time after cutting ties. Gather a support system that you trust to help you through.

4. You have a past together

Some good times and happy memories may be tied to this person. You may even cherish them and some memories. But we all know that love isn’t enough to make a relationship healthy and to make it work, weather it’s a romantic relationship, friendship, parent-child relationship etc. Sometimes we love people, but just can’t continue a relationship with them.

5. When you choose to cut ties

It’s not a good feeling having to cut ties with someone you love. Regardless of the situation, we still find it difficult and do not want to hurt them. But saying that, the truth is that continuing to stay in a relationship with someone who continues to be selfish and toxic and is unhealthy for you and for your well being regardless how long you have pondered about this decision.

Remember that staying in a relationship and feeling all that comes with a toxic relationship can affect the life of your children and your partner and everyone around you also.