Regardless of why a relationship ends, whether it was your decision or your partner’s decision or maybe it was a mutual agreement, it can be a very difficult time. You may have children, pets, or not none of either. You may have been together for many years or perhaps just a short while. Regardless, the question that you may have in your mind is now what? Where do I go from here? How do I adapt to life as a single person? How do I move forward from here?
First things first is that you need to allow yourself time to mourn the loss of your relationship. Regardless who’s decision or what took place, you will still feel a loss. You need to let yourself grieve through this emotional process. You may feel guilt or remorse over what you could have done or what you didn’t do, what you could have said and what you didn’t say. You may replay some aspects over and over in your mind. Remember that this is normal.
Learn to fall in love with who you are. Most importantly during this time because you may have feelings of low self-esteem for a variety of reasons including not being able to make your relationship work. We tend to internalise some things in life at times and make it all about us. But it isn’t and this is not the end of the world. Life goes on and you can happily adjust to life again. You deserve this. You deserve happiness! So during this time, work on building your confidence and talking to yourself in a positive way. You are so worthy of all good things in life. Some people have found that therapy helped them to move on. Others were able to work through it and move forward without therapy. If you feel this would help, don’t hesitate to seek assistance in dealing with your emotions and in learning to move forward in your life.
Learn new things. Take up an activity or a new hobby that you think you may enjoy. Or maybe there are things you enjoyed to do, but your partner didn’t. Maybe your partner liked to always stay at home and you didn’t. Now is the time to rediscover what you once enjoyed all over again. Perhaps you enjoyed long drives, boating, travelling, camping, theatres, listening to a good band etc., but missed out on those. Rediscover you again and what you love. Learn to embrace the idea of change, as long as the change is healthy.
Being alone doesn’t mean ‘Alone’ all the time. Hang out with old friends, be open to making new friends, join a singles group. The transition means that you will get to make all of your decisions on your own, which you haven’t done in a long time. You can choose the restaurant you go to, the band you want to listen to, the meals you make, the concert of your choice, what movies you want to watch and you don’t have to be in an any rush do decide any of it!
Embrace your new role in life. You aren’t alone in the world, and especially when it comes to finding your way and picking yourself back up after a break-up. You deserve happiness and all the beautiful things that life has to offer!
1. They accept and love you regardless of your shortcomings and flaws.
A real friend would prefer not to transform you into something that you are not. They know and have acknowledged many of your great and not so great sides. They regard your opinion regardless of how it differs from their own. They respect the differences between you both. What’s more, that is the reason you generally feel calm when you’re together. They accept you for you.
2. They have your back.
You realize you can generally depend on them and their loyal support. You know that they will always have your back in a heartbeat. They realize you would do likewise for them. They don’t ever let anyone speak down on or negatively of you.
3. They cheer you on.
Friends that aren’t true can feel a tinge of jealously in regards to your accomplishments and wins in life. These are ‘Fake’ friends. Real friends celebrate the great moments, milestones, winnings and goals. They love seeing you happy verses a fake friend who may find pleasure in your losses, low times and even in your sadness
4. You pick up where you left off.
You don’t need to continuously be in contact with one another to chat or doing something together. You both have schedules and they understand that. They consider and care about your feelings. They randomly call or message you to say hi and ask how you because they are genuinely concerned about you. They always hope that you are happy and doing well, regardless of how often you get to chat or see each other.. but you always pick up where you left off.
Real friends are PRICELESS. Treasure them.