We don’t know when we’ll watch our last sunset, or say our last hello and goodbye. But what we do know is that we have now. We can live in the moment and treasure what we are blessed with.

5 steps to letting go and forgiving

1. Forgive yourself

Often we tend to do further harm to ourselves and cause more suffering in the long run. Remember that you are not the blame for what happened to you. Someone did wrong to you. Someone hurt you deeply. But you need to understand your role in how you treat yourself afterwards. Seek help in healing and cherish who you are. Love who you are deeply. Anger can become a very destructive emotion to carry and hold onto for a long period of time. You have to forgive yourself for any blame you placed on yourself or for any harm, including emotional that you have put on yourself over what happened to you.

2. Acknowledge how you feel

The first step to dealing with emotions is recognizing that they exist and they are valid. You were hurt. Someone betrayed your trust which may have led to unhealthy feelings and emotions. Sometimes deep emotions are burried beneath denial and memories and unhealthy habits in an attempt to forget what happened. For instance, when we talk about abuse, especially if we have suffered the abuse as a child, it’s possible that the memories are too painful to deal with. This often requires you to seek therapy, which many victims of child abuse have found to be very helpful. Be kind to yourself. Be gentle with yourself.

3. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help

As mentioned above, there are some instances in which professional therapy is often required if abuse was involved. Seeking a mental health counsellor who specialises with past abuse could be vital to sorting through your feelings. Please never hesitate to reach out and get help if you feel like you are unable to cope with the feelings on your own. You are not alone.

4. Asking for an apology without expecting one

Maybe you are no longer in touch with the person who hurt you (perhaps for your own safety or sanity). Perhaps the person who hurt you is dead. Whatever your situation, you can express your feelings and request an apology. It might be direct to that person, or in the form of a letter that you never send or a speech that you give in your own words out loud.

5. Take all the time you need

Forgiveness can take time. It is a choice and should be made only at the moment you feel comfortable with it. It can happen in bits over time, or one day, you could just choose to forgive someone. Everyone chooses to forgive how and when they are ready to. And remember that you deserve joy and happiness.

10 Ways To Build Trust In Relationships

1. Be honest

Let your words always be true. Honesty is very important in any relationship. Every lie told diminishes the trust in a relationship. Be honest and true to your words.

2. Learn how to communicate effectively

One of the biggest reason that relationships often break down is due to poor communication. Good communication includes being very clear about what you say, what you feel, and what you have or have not committed to.

It takes risk on both sides to build trust. You will need both you and the other person to take risks to prove trustworthiness. Remember that communication is key. When there isn’t clear communication, the messages you’ve meant to send aren’t the messages that will be received.

3. Building trust takes time

It takes time to build trust. Don’t impatiently expect it overnight. Some people take longer to earn trust because they may have trusted an unloyal or untrustworthy person in the past.

Take little steps and follow through with little commitments and as the trust grows, you will be comfortable with making bigger commitments.

4. Make decisions and commitments effectively

Do not make commitments you can’t keep. It’s okay to say no to someone if you know you are unsure or know you will not be able to follow through. Not keeping commitments or making decisions you are unsure of and can’t keep will destroy trust in relationships.

Stay organized and be clear about what you are able to take on or commit to. Being organized and clear about what you can handle on your plate lets you make clear decisions on if you can give your time and energy or not.

5. Be Consistent

When someone is there for us through the good and bad times, we will learn to trust them. Regularly showing someone that you’re there for them is an effective way to build trust.

Consistency builds trust. Show them that you value the relationship.

6. Contribute and participate

Taking an active role and contributing your part will most likely cause others to respect and trust you. When building trust in a relationship or in a team, it’s also important to show your willingness to trust others.

Engaging demonstrates trust as apposed to not contributing or showing willingness to be part of the team. By participating and listening actively to what another has to say will build trust in and a willingness to know your thoughts and feedback respectively.

7. Be true to what you say

You want the person you are in a relationship with to believe what you say. Follow through with your words and be careful not to make promises that you are not able to fulfil.

Keeping your word builds trust and respect in the relationship. However, if you say one thing, but do another, trust will be lost.

8. Help others whenever you can

When you show kindness by helping another human without any benefit to you, it shows you are being authentic. Being authentic and kind towards others builds trust.

9. Admit when you make a mistake

Admit your mistakes, and don’t hide them. People often tend to know that you are being dishonest in some way. By being open showing your vulnerable side will help to build trust with people.

Everyone makes mistakes. If you pretend that you never make mistakes, you’ll make it difficult for others to trust you.

10. Share your feelings

Being open about your feelings is often one of the best ways to build trust. It takes some risk, but it is vital in a relationship on both ends. When people feel like you care, they will be more likely to gain trust you.

Acknowledging your feelings and taking action in communicating them is the key to building trust.

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